What those two little girls did for me in my 18 plus months as their primary care giver was, they taught me how to love again. I was broken when I came to their home to live and care for them. By the time I left, I had learned to trust again. I learned to love again. I learned what real love was. I know they have no idea that they did that for me. I can imagine that they probably don't even remember me anymore.
A few months before Victor decided to marry again, he got a huge house with 5 bedrooms and a back apartment that was attached to the house. That back apartment became my room. It was conveniently right next to the girl's rooms. He basically told Terri that he was taking the girls and letting her have her freedom to do as she pleased with no responsibilities at all. This wasn't such a bad idea as what little time Terri did spend at home she was coked out of her mind and was a raving lunatic around the children. Her mere presence made them crazy. I hated it when Terri actually came home. She would scream at them and make them cry hysterically.
So when Victor proposed this to me (the house and my own apartment), I said yes. That was all he needed to get Terri to agree to let him take the kids to this new home. In many ways I felt I had betrayed Terri, but I didn't know what else to do for the girls. Terri's serious and daily drug usage had made her totally irresponsible. There were seriously dangerous drugs and all kinds of not cool shit going on in that house by then. I think Ally finding one of Terri's boyfriend's loaded handguns tucked under the mattress was the turning point where I felt that this was no longer safe or cool for the kids to be there. Something had to happen to give the girls an environment that was safe and drug free. I did betray Terri, but it was not out of malice. I just did not know how to save her and keep the children out of harms way at the same time.
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