I know, I have been so bad about not journaling. Shame, shame, shame.
I just haven't had the energy. It may seem odd, but I find writing an act of creativity. It can sometimes take hours for me to post to a BBS or even this journal. And I always have to do it so late at night. Waiting for hours for the noise of this house to go to sleep and leave me to consentrate and collect my thoughts.
I seem to be lost in trying to understand relationships right now. Any relationship. Friends, pets, significant others, whatever. I am trying to absorb something, some "ah ha!" that will move me further along somewhere in the learning process of life. I am not getting very far though. I feel lost right now. Or lonely, like I am alone in some deep quest with no map or mentor.
Whatever.
So this friend of mine named Tom posted something on Geekfest a day or so ago about water molecules changing their structure simply with thought. He got that bit of shit off some show I am pretty sure I saw myself some time back on the Discovery Channel. So somewhere around the 4 response post down from his, someone throws out that this program, this pseudo scientific show he saw was sponsered by some cult and that it's all hogwash (my words totatly, not their's),
So of course the thread now lacks any credibility in the minds of posters and lurkers because someone said it was a cult thing. Who the hell knows if it's really a cult thing, frankly, who cares. All I know is that suddenly, what might have been a fairly lively discussion was cut short and I don't get to see where it might have gone.
Oh well.
You are wondering why I even brought that up right? Me too. I don't know, and I don't care. It was just on my mind.
So have you ever had something pressing on your spirit, some deep emotion, some agony of spirit that you cannot talk to another living soul about? Of course you have. I tend to prattle on about meaningless bullshit while I am agonizing internally. It doesn't make me hurt any less, but it does serve as a minor distraction for the moment. I know you know what I am talking about. Been there, done that, got the tee shirt.
Ok, this took all of about ten minutes to write. Which tells you I am not trying very hard. You are absolutely correct. I am not trying at all. Not one iota. Oh well, such is life.
