Lynn came over today to look at the gay pride stuff and the display cases we have in the garage. While she was here, she read my cards. I asked about the Page of Cups, the predominent card in my last reading from her. In the last reading back in January, she told me that this particular Page was going to play a most important part in my life. As in life changing.

He did btw, and still is.... He came up again as the last card in my reading today. He was the happy ending to a rather painful time I am living through at the moment and a most painful time to come in my life.

She saw a period of isolation coming up for me. A time where I would be alone, answerable only to myself. A time I would spend healing myself. I knew exactly what she was talking about, she didn't, but I did.

I understand and embrace the need to spend time alone, to withdraw one's self from the people, relationships and things that drain your mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I know this time is coming for me and most likely it will be fairly soon. I feel a burning within me to remove myself from that which has been sucking the life force from me for so very long now. The need to go into a self imposed hermitage.

It's not that I do not love the people and relationships I need to remove myself from, I do love them all, dearly to my core. Some times however, you have no choice if you are to survive but to go away from them to heal and regain your strength. I am near to that place now.

What I do not know how to do is explain this to those who will be affected by my departure. How can I explain that I love them no less?  I love you all, as always, unconditionally.

I do love you all so very much, but I must leave nonetheless. I do not know when this will happen, I just know that it will. The cards only confirmed what I already knew. When I leave, I do not know when I will return, or even if I will return.

I will still be here, bringing in the bacon, but I will not be here with you emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually. To you my friends and family, do not fear, for it truly is all for the good in the end. It is better I survive by taking this time, than to die in this slow and painful way that I am dying right now.

You will know when I am going, I will not surprize you. I am truly not sure what all this will entail. Just know that I will not surprize you by not being there one day and you not knowing what has happened to me. I just know that I feel a peace about all this. I know from my spirit, that this is the path I am going to embark on soon.

I have no idea what any of this truly means right now. I just know that it is coming in my future. And I have known it for some months now. Please don't see this as a rejection or that I am being anti-social. I just need this time. And right now I do not even know how I am going to arrange to make this healing time and space for me. I just know that I am going to do it, and the way to do it all will come to me.

This is all I needed to talk about right now. There is nothing left to say except that I love you all unconditionally and utterly.

Ciao