I am sorry if I have to talk in subtle under tones, never saying the real truth, or speaking the names of the real perpetrators. Apparently it's the name of the game.

Why does it appear that I am taking forever to heal from being betrayed and stabbed in the back? Well, it's because this is too small of a town to get away from the perp's who did it to me. And, what is even more painful in all this is that she brought the children into it all back in the very beginning of this "break up" between "us" just to hurt me. I knew when she did that that she was hurting only the children, not me. I took her aside and with all sincere and heartfelt love and gentleness said that her actions (telling her children they were never to have anything to do with me anymore) were hurting the children (maybe it was the tears in her two youngest's eyes and the sad, soulfully longing looks I got from them that pointed that fact out to me). She basically told me to "fuck off". What she actually said was "What I do with my children is none of your business."  Interestingly enough, that was the last conversation we ever had with each other. I walked away sad that she was so messed up that she would hurt and use her own children like that in an attempt to hurt another grownup.

But now what she has done is coming back to haunt her because unfortunately for her, her youngest children don't know how to not repeat what they hear the adults around them say. And who do they take it out on? That's right, my child.

I just want to know what you were expecting would happen with your children and mine child when we had all been so close once upon a time? How did you expect your children and mine to understand that you had lied to so many people about so much stuff that they were now going to have to pay the price of your bullshit?

Don't ask Sue ever again "What's going on between my kids and yours?" She knows the answer (as do you). Do you want her to tell you what it is? Because I certainly have given her the freedom to tell you where to get off.

The next time one of your children calls my child any name, let alone calls her a "devil worshipper", there will be repercussions as far as the law will allow me.  I have news for you, a 6 year old boy does not know what a devil worshipper is, nor would he use that terminology or make it up out of nowhere. We know where he got it. I think it's pretty shitty that you would put something like that in your kid's head about my kid. Especially the one out of all your children that I loved the most. Ironic don't you think?

And I know you already know this about me, but I am going to reiterate it here, I don't believe in the devil, or satan. I don't believe in heaven or hell, good or evil. I don't believe in revenge, I believe in the law of karma. What you sow, so shall you reap. But you already know this about me, so why do you fear me so much that you are slandering my name around your children and god knows whom else? Just because you have personally seen things you can touch and feel that I generated out of my spirit? Like the business you now enjoy without me there? Is that what you fear? My ability to create something real and solid out of pure intentional thought? Is that what you fear?

Let me ask you this, have you ever once in all the time you were so close to me ever seen me do something or create something you deem "bad" or "evil"? Just because I am capable of doing something doesn't mean I am going to do it. And why? Did we not already have this conversation, repeatedly,  Grasshopper? The law of karma. What you sow so shall you reap. I am not some kind of wonderful person who would never harm another soul, I am just an ordinary person who is aware that for every action there is an equal reaction. You know this about me. I never have claimed to be anything but an ordinary person in any way shape or form. 

You wanna know what kills me about you and your irrational fear of me? I tried for all I was worth to teach you what I know and how to use it for the good of all in love and light. Apparently you didn't really want to learn it, you just wanted me to do what I do o'so well and then you could reap the benefits of my abilities with you having done none of the real work to create something yourself. Was that because you thought it was witchcraft? So you would let me do what you thought was "witchcraft" or "satan" stuff and then you would reap the benefit of it later on down the road? Amazing. And you still cannot see how transparent you really are to every one around you.

And now you take your fear of me and cause itto become something your children have to hurl at my kid as an insult and attack on her character. The more I know about you the more I dislike you. I take that back, I don't dislike, I feel nothing for you. Right now I am irritated that your kid repeated what he heard you and your house slave say around him, but other than that? I really do not give a shit about you one way or another.

Here's the deal. I have stepped out of the way of karma. I did that several days ago actually. I was protecting you and your family. Now I am not. I did that because there is no reason for me to continue to send out my own personal energy on your behalf anymore. That is how much I do not give a rat's ass about you anymore.

There are people out there who think that you and I will be friends again one day. I have to chuckle because I can't ever see you coming to terms with all you did to me and every other person you harmed in your little passion play of life you played out with us all. You will never be allowed back in my life if I know you are actively in your disease (lying pathologically is a disease dear). I just can't and won't allow that energy in my life or home again. I allowed you in once while you were active in your disease, it will never happen again. It has nothing to do with any feelings I may or may not have for you, it has to do with protecting my family from the repercussion of your dysfunctions.

You want to know why one of the conditions of being allowed back in my life is that you not only apologize to me about what you did but also apologize to everyone you lied to about me? Because I know that unless you are made to be honest with everyone you have lied to about me that you have not really healed from your disease. And that is why I am not worried about you ever coming to terms with what you have done and healing from your illness. I honestly do not think you can erase a lifetime of behavior and change. I don't think you have it in you. And that's not brag, that's just fact ma'am. So I am not worried, nor anticipating ever having to forgive you publicly for betraying me.

In the meantime, please keep your children away from my child at the dojo and at school. Know that if you sowed something against me (that would include nearly everything you did to me in the last year pretty much) in any way shape or form at any point in your knowing me that I have officially stepped aside to allow karma in to do it's job.  And just so you know, until you undo all you have done to me and the so many others involved, there is nothing, and I mean nothing you can do to stop karma from doing her job of paying you back that equal reaction for your actions.

Just remember that as you move through life. That includes your little house mouse who I know reads this blog. Everything you do can and will come back on your head in an equal reaction. And I do not care by what meter you have decided to measure this on, betrayal and bearing false witness against another is still up there in the karmic law handbook as something that will come back on your head.

And nope, I am not angry. I feel nothing but apathy toward you and yours. Just stay away from my kid.