If I only had a brain

I would not be just a nuttin, my head all full of stuffin, my heart all full of pain. With the thoughts I'd be thinkin, I could be another Lincoln, if I only had a brain.

These are your drugs, these are your drugs on brain.

Do you know what the killer is about losing brain cells from old age? Words that once flowed off your tongue and finger tips evade you now. So do other people's names and faces. Finding them again in conversation is like trying to catch fog in your hands.

Other than a bottle of wine or two occasionally, I do not do drugs. Well, I guess coffee counts, it is a caffeine laden Satan of sorts. And cigarettes are definitely a drug, but these are legal and except for the wine, I can operate heavy vehicles legally on them.

Of course, I have never operated heavy vehicles (unless you are counting my body). So I suppose this is a moot point. The point is, my brain has ceased operating.  The cerebrial cortex functions, the rest is history.

I blame the Internet. I was well read and articulate before I wandered on to the Information Highway back in 96. The reality is, I wandered on to it back in 92, but there wasn't much there then. Just a bunch of meandering cowpaths and wagon trails back then. BBSs were not my idea of fun either. My other problem was, I was living (and still am) in a little one horse town that, at the time,  had no local ISP dial-up. To go online even for a moment cost me in long distance charges just to access the Information Cowpath. So I waited until we finally had our own little local exchange dial-up to go back on. That was, as I said before, 1996. My brain has deteriorated rapidly ever since then.

Fast forwarding to today, my brain is jello. It liquifies under certain circumstances. Words, complete thoughts evade me. If I had to write a doctorial thesis right now I would be up the proverbial creek, the lights are on, the paddles are missing.

Thank you, thank you very much... and Elvis has left the building.