Although it appears that I share from a place of total honesty, there are still somethings I don't share no matter how deep a place I appear to be coming from.
Like, I will never let on exactly how hurt I am. I tend to appear pretty matter of fact about things, even when sharing my deepest feelings and thoughts. Even if I express what appears to be something I feel deep passion about, you will never know how deep that passion really is. Pretend I am a fathomless black pool. You will never find the bottom.
If I tell you I am in love with you, I am probably at that point of being in love that you will be someone I remember forever even if we never become lovers or partner for life. If I tell you I am in love with you, I am probably thinking about you too much. You are probably the first and last thing I think about everyday. If you are not available for sex, I probably masturbate thinking about you ocassionally. That masturbation was initiated about and because of you. I seldom do myself other than to pretend the object of my affection is near me, making love with me. This has a lot to do with my age/hormone levels and not because I have never masturbated just because.
Then I have the ability to be in love with more than one person at a time. Usually I have someone I love more than the others, but I am still capable of being "in love" with more than one person at a time. Contrary to popular belief, I don't want to marry everyone I am in love with.
If I get really quiet and appear to be pulling back from you, it's because I am hurting over you at the moment. If I start to become distant, it's because I am not in a place to deal with the pain I am feeling at the moment. Before I can be close again, I have to go inside me and do some work. I have to remind me that I love myself. Once centered, I can be around you again.
Since AOHell only gives you 2500 characters, this is all I am going to say about this subject now.
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