I went to check out this plastic surgery proceedure several weeks ago up in Springfield. Mainly I wanted to see the results and then of course the cost. It's a relatively simple, in office proceedure, it takes less than an hour to perform. There is of course follow up and you have to spend the night near by, but other than that, it's relatively fast and sort of painless.

Basically what it does is get rid of your turkey neck. Turkey neck is something that I suffer from very seriously now that I have lost so much weight. Unfortunately it only gets worse and worse the more weight I loose. If I had copious amounts of HGH still running through my system, the turkey neck would not be there screaming at me in the mirror everyday. Unfortunately, like every other middle aged human being, my HGH levels are near Zero, hence the lack of elasticty in my skin.

The plastic surgery proceedure would cost over $5000 by the time all was said and done. Far more than I am willing to pay, unless of course, I win the lottery.  So knowing that the only way I am ever going to afford the copious amounts of plastic surgery that I actually do need is to win the lottery, I kind fo have plastic surgery on hold in my mind for now. At least I know how much American doctors charge now for such a simple proceedure.

Now if for some unknown reason my father didn't change the will after Helen passed away, I am the sole heir to his estate. That's a nice chunk of change. Of course, I decided long ago when I first found out I was the sole heir to his estate that I would share it equally with my siblings and my mother (if she was still alive at the time). I knew why I had been made the sole heir, I was after all the only child who had anything to do with Dad. My brothers in their anger over all he did to us when he left our family turned their backs on him. I am not sure why I didn't turn my back  on him. Maybe because I was the only female child and I adored him beyond words, I am not sure, I just know all I did was grieve and want him back.

I never let him go from my heart and I cried out to God or whomever would listen to send my father home to me again. So when he finally did come home again (somewhere in my mid 30's) I was estatic to have my father at least "in country" and not galivanting around the globe to god forsaken countries I had never heard of. Of course, he still left and travelled the world even after his "retirement". He didn't really come home until after Helen died. And then he came home and stayed, the life knocked out of him by Helen's passing.

I called my brothers and ripped them new assholes a year or so before Helen died about Dad. Told them to get off their self righeous, sanctimonious asses and call Dad and get to know him again before it was too late. Reluctantly they did just that. Now they have relationships with him. Which is why I am pretty sure I am no longer the sole heir. Dad is pretty good about making sure little things like that are in order.

So that means that I will get a third, just like the rest of my siblings. I'll end up paying off my mortage, not getting plastic surgery. Because I am practical like that. But the truth is, I would rather have my father than his damn money. He's dangled that money over my head (and my brothers the last 10 years) like the sword of Damaclese. And like my brothers, I took his offered money when I needed it and sometimes not. In retirement, my father makes 3 times what I make running my own business. His condo is paid off (he paid cash for it when he bought it, cahs proceeds form the sale of his condo on Puget Sound in Redmond, WA).

I just want my Dad. Want him back like I had him when I was a kid. That of course will never happen. We will continue this relationship some other place, somewhere, some other time.