I was right, Carr Lane is in Stone County and it's about 25 miles from Eureka, 35 from my house though. I have been through Carr Lane more times than I can actually remember in the last 2 days. Four times (I sincerely had to think there), two full trips up Hwy 86 in the last two days.

The first trip was of course the doctor visit. The second trip was much further. Over 110 miles one way from my front door to the cemetary and back. That was of course (if you are paying attention) a funeral. The funeral was in Fordland, a town I had never heard of. It's about 15 or 20 miles on the east side of Springfield off of Hwy 60. That was a long ass drive.

It was a baby, an infant, one that never got the chance to get born but was close enough that had she not died in the womb, she would have lived, although been slightly premature. Steffie is young, only 19, so this is especially hard on her. Not that being older makes losing a child any easier, it's just you have less life experience when you are 19 with bad things happening. Not that Steffie doesn't have her share of bad shit in her young years, she does, it's just that the longer you live, the more time you have to reflect on shit that happens to you. As the years go by, you grow in how you perceive nad react to things. Of course, I don't think that death of a child is ever something you will react to much differently than with intense grief, period.

Anyway, my heart goes out to her. Steffie named her Emilee Lynn. Emilee after her best friend Emily who was killed 2 years ago in a car accident. Emilee was buried next to Emily, Emily's parents having given the plot to Steffie and Jeremy for Emilee. I do want you to know that Jeremy was also devistated by the loss of his daughter too. I felt deeply for them both.

I was thinking to myself while I was there at the funeral that I have had too much death in my life. Amazingly I haven't lost anything considered major. Well, Debbie was major, but I lost her to the disease long before the disease actually did something that killed her. Ok, I will buy that that was a major loss. But I never got to go to the funeral, so I have had to grieve in private all these years. And yes, I still grieve after all these years. I guess when I say "major", I haven't lost anything more than my grand parents and a sister.  My sister doesn't count as major because I was 10 years old and I also didn't get to go to that funeral either.  I have spent the last 42 years living her life for her. Her oldest kid is a freshman in high school now btw. And she's still married to that great guy who is a lawyer just like she is....

Most of my "death" has been friends. And lots of them. I went to most of these funerals. There were two I missed because I had moved here and had no way to get home for the funerals. That was Chris Ross and Tom Bodet. Chris died about a month after I moved here. Tom about a year.

Anyway, I meant to buy some facial tissue Monday when I was buying food and other stuff for the Deschner household. I kept looking at the Kleenex but for some reason (maybe because I was talking with Ron) I just never picked it up and put it in the cart. I managed to get paper towels and toilet paper in there, but no Kleenex. You know that just because the funeral is over that the crying has not stopped in that house. So now they will use the toilet paper instead. That's not nearly as good as Kleenex. Oh well, I screwed up.

Now I have to go buy Ms Linda a birthday present. We got Sensie this hand carved teak wood dragon from Romancing the Stone that he wanted. I got it for $1000 less than it was listed at. I got it down from $1200, to $750, to "this one is broken and I can sell it to you for $350", to "I will give you $200 for it". So for $200 bucks (plus tax) and Curtis staying up all night Monday night to sand down the broken parts and restain the whole thing (twice), we (Ms. Linda, me and Sue, Curtis and Misty, Sandy, Harrol and Patrick and Jody and Annie) got Sensie a really cool present.

Now I have to find some bling bling for Ms. Linda. Luckily we live in a tourist town which is chalk full of gift shops brimming with bling bling. This will just be from me and Sue unless Curtis and Misty was to be part fo this one too. I am not spending a fortune on this. The $72 bucks I spent on Sensie was enough. Linda will be lucky if I spend $25.

Ok, I am off to work and shop and then a private lesson and then maybe sign off on some stuff.