I have been thinking about what it means to be a shaman, a real shaman. Shamans are not just healers. Healers walk only in the light and seek to heal that which is sick. Yes, shamans do healings, but that is not their whole function. Shamans are not sorcerers, for sorcerers walk the dark side only and seek to purposely harm others. Shamans walk a middle path of balance. They seek to heal when asked and protect when necessary. They wish no harm, but will protect whenever and whatever is necessary to protect without doing harm if and when possible. And so I am attempting to walk that middle path. Balance is hard when you walk a path alone. It's not that it can't be done, it's just that it is more difficult when you are alone. What that aloneness does is make you a better and stronger shaman.  Shamans generally walk their path of balance alone.

Now, this is what I tried to post early this morning and have been fucking with all day. I think this is going to work, and so I apologize to those of you who have had to endure this mess.

Here goes:

Have y'all been paying attention? Tired of my tirades? Hmmm... I am holding back, I promise you. You are not even seeing a tenth of how I am feeling inside right now.

Yesterday's horoscope will give you a glimpse, but even this does not touch how I am feeling right now.

Personal Daily Horoscope of 3, March 2007 for J, born 21 May 1954.

 

During this time it is necessary to proceed slowly and cautiously. The more thoroughly and carefully you perform any task, the more chance there is that it will succeed. This can be a very frustrating and irritating time, when all your efforts to assert yourself are blocked, more by a sense of internal inadequacy than by circumstances or other people. However, you are not likely to take negative reinforcement laying down, even if it comes from within yourself. That part of you that is struggling to break free from inhibitions will feel very angry at being held back. Consequently you are likely to be irritable and easily angered, although your inner doubts make you reluctant to show your anger openly. But no matter how hard you try to cover it up, everyone willbe quite aware that you are seething inside.