I told Sue today that we need to go pick Fran up and take her with us to the funeral home Thursday morning to talk with them there about Marty's funeral. So she invited her this evening to come along with us to make the arrangements or whatever it is that we are doing with them this coming Thursday.

For those of you who do not know the story of Fran and Marty, let me do a brief synopsis. Marty met Fran right after he moved in to Merrill Gardens in Tamarac. Fran was a wall flower who pretty much stuck to herself and was very withdrawn from everyone else. When Marty met her, that was the end of those lonely days for her. Marty was a geriatric party animal in his own way. Marty was Mister Outgoing Everybody Loves Him Guy in a social setting. Remember that big mischievous grin I was telling you about? It was irresistible to everyone. His exuberance for life was infectious to others. So Fran's being with him began to bring her out of her shell.

Time passed, they fell in love. Unfortunately for them, they would both have lost much of their incomes if they married. That happens a lot to retired folk living on pensions and SS. So they remained living in their own little apartments and became permanently engaged. What that meant was that Fran was left in the position of never having a real legal status if Marty should die. She was left with being the perpetual fiance. What it did was leave her no legal rights whatsoever. No legal right to have any say over anything about Marty ever, especially in death. What it did was make her a non-person in the eyes of the world when it came to anything to do with Marty. Like she didn't exist at all despite the fact she was his great love whom he adored with all of his being. A non-person, invisible to the legal world of Marty. Left out of everything despite all she was to him and he to her.

Which brings me to me and my life story. That is how I always feel. A non-person who cannot legally marry the person I love, ever. A legal ghost. A non-entity. The looks you get from people. Those looks of "why are you here and who the heck are you?"  I got that a lot during Marty's illness from hospital personnel. I will probably get that from the funeral home too. A non-person "who the heck are you and why are you here?" look. Condescending looks down their noses when they finally figure out who you are and why you are there. I hate that. I hate the way that makes me feel. Yeah well, I am just the guy who supports and takes care of this family you are having to deal with right now. And I have been doing this for over ten years, jerk. And yeah, his grandkid there? I made that, that's my child too. And Marty? That's as close to a father in law as I will ever have you condescending, judgmental jerks.

I'll be damned if they are going to do that to Fran. Legally they can treat me like crap and I just have to buck up and take it from them. But I will stand up to them and shove it their up their butts if they mess with that loving, gentle soul for being there, her being just as much of the family as anyone else in that room.

We already had a real good dose of that "You're not a real family" stuff the day Marty died. Glen is as much a part of our family as anyone else. Glen works where Marty lived. His boss wouldn't even let him take a few hours off to spend some time with us after we got home from dealing with all this death and dying stuff all day Friday. And why? Because she doesn't see Sue or I as a family, why would she see Glen as part of our family? We needed Glen that night, needed him here bad. But he wasn't here because he was not allowed to take a few hours off before he went in to work and stay here with us to grieve as a family.

I am done with those kinds of people. His boss is going to get an earful from me before the end of all this and we have Marty's stuff out of his apartment. She won't get why I am so angry, she's too ignorant to get why, but I do not care whether she understands or not. I am done with bigots and their bull. Which is why Fran is going to be involved in every step of this process if she wants to be there. Forgive me if you are a straight person who is not judgmental and accepts other people's definition of who is their family, but I am done with straight people. Call me prejudice, but after 53 years of a world full of ignorant bigots, I am just done with their bull. I don't really give a rat's ass if they have never had to conceptualize the idea of alternative families before. So what, that's your problem, get out of my face and my life. I am done with you. Go get PC at someone else's expense. Not mine nor the people I love as family. Just go f**k yourselves.

There, that was the beginning of the anger stage of the grief process. Don't be an ignorant jerk with me when I am hurting. Nanny, nanny, poo poo.