I decided not to go back and add to yesterdays post. Although my spirit undersands perfectly, my mind is too wiped out from this illness to function.

I am feeling a tad better today. Not 100%, more like 65%. But considering what debilitating shit this crap is, I'll take the 65% over what it has been like for the last 9 days.

I asked a friend of mine the other day what it was they loved about me. The answer was, my gentleness. So I delved deeper, seeking clarity. Gentle? Moi? The bull in the china shop?

Apparently it's noticable that I can be vulnerable with others, that I can just love them unconditionally and give from my heart. That I can risk being real, authentic.

Jane, the lesson learned: Dare to risk your heart. Risk allowing others inside. Risk sharing all that is within you and giving the core of your being to others in relationship.

To risk is to find your freedom. And in that freedom is the path to your true authentic self.

Deep inside, further than you have ever gone before there is a core of pure, unconditional love. Deep within, deeper still, beyond the core, deeper still, futher and deeper, past what you thought was the end, there is more still. Creation's pure bright light. The light of pure love. Beyond all space, beyond all time. In that place where nothing but pure love exists. No form, nor void, just a state of being in love, pure and simple.

In risking your vulnerablity, you find yourself. The trick is surviving the risk. The trick to surving the risk? Letting go. Letting go of old belief systems, old patterns, all that you thought was truth. Being open. Open to spirit leading, teaching, showing the way. Be silent, listen, hear, learn, grow.

And love. Love deeply, at every turn, at every opportunity, from your core, from the heart. Purely, unconditionally.