You have my heart so don't hurt me....

I was having this conversation with a friend last night who is falling head over heals in love right now and what came to mind was a Cranberrie's song.

I remembered reading something years ago that John Bradshaw had written about being head over heals in love when you first fall in love with someone. The period of time when you first fall in love until anywhere between 6 months to 2 years is called limerance. What John Bradshaw said was that period of time is probably the only time in your life when you are as close to being clinically insane without being considered insane as possible.

Probably because of your irrational behavior and all the intense emotions you are feeling and exhibiting. Whatever, love is still grand. It's spectacular to be "in love". Especially when it is reciprocal.

This is the song, I can relate to it totally:

Dreams, The Cranberries

Oh my life is changing everyday
in every possible way
And oh my dreams
it's never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems
I know I felt like this before
But now I'm feeling it even more
Because it came from you
Then I open up and see
The person falling here is me
A different way to be
I want more, impossible to ignore
Impossible to ignore
And they'll come true
impossible not to do
Impossible not to do
And now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don't hurt me
You're what I couldn't find
A totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You're everything to me
Oh my life is changing everyday
In every possible way
And oh my dreams
it's never quite as it seems
'cause you're a dream to me
Dream to me

See? That's a falling in love song. I remember falling in love. It's truly the best high there is on earth. I read a couple of old love letters last night from a time when I was deeply in love with someone and she apparently was in love with me. As time passes you tend to think that maybe you were mistaken about whether they loved you or not. Reading old love letters confirms that you are indeed not imagining something existed that did not exist. In a bittersweet way, it's kind of nice to go back and remember being that in love with someone again.

I try not to go to that place very often. I try not to remember too much of my past loves. Although you may learn some incredible lessons from your association with someone you loved deeply, it's best not to go there as it bears little resemblance to your real life today.

You can thank those people for the gift of their presence in your life and whatever lessons they brought to you, but then it's time to move on and keep your heart open for new lessons elsewhere.  It's not like you are being cold hearted, it's just that dwelling on what has morphed into something else is a fruitless waste of your energy.

I have been utterly in love with someone else at least 2 times in my life.  The second time was a lot nicer than the first. But both times where incredible. The feelings are intense in a way you seldom ever know at any other time. It's as if everything else on earth pales in comparision. It's something you will never forget and hopefully always cherish. Being in love just plain old rocks.

I think though from experience, that deep and abiding love is the best. Once limerance has worn off and you are living your life day to day with this person that caused all those incredible feelings in the beginning years ago, knowing that you just love them unconditionally is the greatest love. You are dedicated to them and to the relationship and that makes it possible to weather the storms of life together.

And now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don't hurt me
You're what I couldn't find
A totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You're everything to me

This says it all for me. You really are everything to me.

Good luck my friend, you have my hope and blessings.

Come what may......