Ok, I am going to Florida in a few weeks for a little mini-vacation. This is not the kind of thing I would normally do out of the blue. But I am going nonetheless as my dear and generous friends earnestly wanted to give me the gift of some time off and I, with some trepidation, took their offer of some needed respite.
My real problem about going is that I cannot imagine leaving my home and business for something as trivial as me getting to relax and just veg. Since this has not been the best year business wise, I am of course concerned to not have the income I would normally have for those 4 or 5 days. Add to that the fact that I actually have to pay someone to take my place while I am gone from work, then my little respite costs me considerably more than it would for someone who gets paid vacations.
The problem is, between now and when I take off in that airplane, I somehow have to talk myself into believing that I deserve some rest. I honestly am not sure I can do that. I am a workaholic and I believe that the world rests squarely upon my shoulders and that if I am gone for long it will all fall apart. I can't seem to shake that belief.
I suppose I would feel better if I knew that my finances were a bit better. Like it would be nice to know that all the bills were paid before I left so that the world did not crumble at my feet while I was gone. In reality, that is what I will stress about the most.
Then there is that little stress that Sue might possibly be coming home on the 10th or 12th of September with 3 extra children in tow. I feel an enormous amount of guilt at the thought of leaving her alone with 4 children in the house. Especially when they have just recently arrived. It really does concern me. I honestly am hoping that they don't ship the kids with her as I would prefer them to come at a little later date. Like say around September 25th or so, that would take an enormous stress off of me and this pending vacation of mine.
Before I leave, Sue is going to be off in NY working on getting the kids. She will be gone a week. That is a week of just me, Kaitlyn and the animals. I think I can survive that, at least I hope I can. I know the house will stay clean because I will have total control over it all (muhawhawhaw) :D.
I leave just a few short days after her return, which is why I don't want the kids to arrive with her. I don't want her to have to face getting these kids settled in all alone. I am just putting it out there into the universe that everything comes together for the best of everyone, myself included. Cause I really would like to have some rest without the concerns of everyday life weighing on me my every waking moment.
Next year honey, we are going to take the whole family to Disney World and maybe even take that damn Disney Cruise I want to do oh so much too. And well go see Grandpa Marty and Grandma Fran and just have a fun time together as a family. Next summer things will be better, I can feel it in my bones. Well, maybe next winter. Orlando is always better in the wintertime anyway.
One way or another, I am going to figure out how to get us all on vacation at the same time. And here's an idea, maybe somewhere down the road a piece, just you and I can go off some place cool alone. Like Key West or some place romantic in Jamica. We'll hire a professional aupear to take care of the kids and a professional house sitting to come care for the plants and animals and we will just fly off to parts unknown together. Wadda ya say sweetheart? Wanna go snorkeling with me? I hear they have great beer in Jamica. :D
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