I finally found a doctor in this area who prescribes bio-identical hormone therapy. Now if only he will prescribe HGH my life will be complete <grin, that actually was a real joke, ha ha>. I go for surgery down in Little Rock on the 8th of October, 13 days from now. They are going to fix my hernia, that big ass bulge of intestines hanging out below my left breasticle. After this surgery, I hopefully will no longer have to worry about dying from a strangulated upper intestinal blockage.

So after this surgery, I gave myself 4 weeks to get well enough to travel to Springdale to see this other doctor. Hopefully he is the last step medically in moving toward full and total wellness. After that, everything else is up to me and my determination to be healthy.

I ran into an old friend today. She hadn't seen me in forever. Like most people who have not seen me in forever, she was shocked and did not recognize me until she looked me in the eye. Actually, I ran into two old friends today, both of them around my age and both of them looking haggard the way most middle aged folk look once the HGH is permanently gone from their bodies.

Both of them asked me what I had done. Beau actually asked me in a side ways kind of way, not wanting to offend me if the weight loss was because of a deathly illness or something. Gayle just wanted to know how I had gotten so thin. I told them both that I had chosen life over death. I decided that I wanted to live. Living as healthy as I could live, ageing in wellness and health. I chose life.

See, I could have not changed my lifestyle when I found out I had diabetes. A lot of people don't. They just take their insulin but continue to live as they lived before, learning to use the insulin to eat around their disease (that means they eat the same way they ever ate, but have learned to take more insulin to control the glucose surge they are creating by eating that birthday cake, I don't eat that birthday cake). I did too much research to continue to live as I have been living all these years. I changed the very core of how I lived my life. I changed how I ate, I changed my activity level (that means I work out, however, right now I am not working out because I injured the hernia really bad working out in ways that are not healthy for a hernia to be worked out, so until after I heal from the surgery, I will have to live with just walking, no more crunches or leg lifts). I changed my whole attitude about life in general. I decided that I no longer wanted to live feeling like I was dying. I wanted to live feeling like I was alive and fully vital.

And that is how I did it. And how I am still doing it. I am still not at my final goal (if there truly is a "final" goal), but I will be soon enough. I know now that I do not have to live feeling like death warmed over and only feeling worse with each passing day. I know now that growing older with aches and pains is not inevitable, you can control, even take complete charge of how you age. I chose healthfully and with grace. I just plan to live in excellent health until my life is over.

To paraphrase the Pet Shop Boys "It is not easy, don't give up now, you can choose, happiness is an option".

I choose happiness.