I think I have pretty much made my point clear about love. You know, it's the glue that holds the universe together, it's all that really matters, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah.
It took me a really long time to come to that place of believing this about love. All I ever really knew or understood about love was that I felt it intensely for others and never for myself. I also knew I was deeply hurt often because of the love I held for others in my heart. I don't think my understanding of love was any different than most other folks. It's in the codependent's resource hand book on how to think and feel about others and yourself. If you were raised in a severely dysfunctional family, you instinctively know all this by age 3, you have no need to refer back to the manual.
Then one day nearly 15 years ago, I met love head on. It was in January of 1990. I was just minding my own business when love came up behind me and slammed me in the head with a 2 by 4. It was cathartic to say the least. Meeting Love head on changed me forever.
Real love was definitely something I had only glimpsed from afar before. I had almost touched it before in fact, but I was too afraid to let it in. I don't know what cosmic forces were involved in my meeting Love that day, I just know that my heart must have been ready or I never would have let it in.
So I thank you Love for that gift of meeting you. It has stayed with ever since that day. It would be nice to have you embrace me right now. I could use a little unconditional Love right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment