I found that peace I sought. I learned forgiveness in a way I never thought possible. To have been able to forgive Alec for all she had done was the ultimate gift to my soul. It freed me forever of the pain and anger that ate at my soul. It forever taught me to let go. It taught me total freedom of spirit forever.

That was the lesson. The reason I was presented all Alec brought into my life. Now I have learned forgiveness. But truly in that I learned far more than to forgive another their transgressions. I learned to surrender. And in surrender freedom of spirit.

I sit here in peace. Knowing a certain serenity I have not ever experienced before. I know what true oneness is now. I know how all things are connected. To the very core of my beingness. I am not the "I" I once believed I was. What I now know is the oneness of my beingness with the All. And though I had experienced oneness before, "I" could not comprehend it. I find "I" fades with each passing moment. Here in the oneness of this moment, "I" is a memory, and I am one with All.

This was the lesson forgiveness taught me. This was the lesson surrender brought. "I" is no longer strong, "I" cannot revel in glory because it thinks it won a battle. "I" did not win anything. "I" diminished that day, in that moment of forgiveness. All anger and pain and suffering ended. "I" simply vanished and I found the real being that I am. I know now that I simply am.

Much has happened in this last 18 months. My life circumstances have changed dramatically. I sit here in silence, listening to nature sing it's nightly spring time song. Occasionally I stop and drink in that power from it. Absorbing the healing it brings.

I am creating a life circumstance that allows me the freedom to be there for others in ways I only dreamed of. My heart reaches out to others, my heart seeks to help heal. Mentor, healer, I prepare to move forward into this period of my life. Heart filled always with love and compassion. "I" not there making me weak. A new life, a clearer vision. Moving onward and upward.

And Alec too heals and moves onward and upward. Son of my soul, spirit I have known from lifetime unto lifetime. You my son are growing and changing with each moment too. One day you shall walk in my foot steps. In ways even you cannot imagine. I am proud of you my son. Hold you in my heart forever, you who called me to you.

The answer is within you. It always has been and always will be....

Peace out....