I am writing because I need to write so that I keep writing. That makes lots of sense to me. It won't make sense to anyone who doesn't have to force themselves to do shit or else they will never do it.

My blood sugar is fucked up. I know because I feel depression coming on. Depression is a sure sign my blood sugar is too high and has been for a while. Someone in this house used up all my test strips, so now I can't check my blood sugar. Test strips are too expensive for poor folk to buy and use on a regular basis. I surely cannot afford them.

So now I am trying to not go into depression. It's hard when it's a biologically based depression. It would be easier to deal with if it were psychological. That I can deal with easily. This however is a failing internal organ that regulates bunches of shit chemically in my body. Hence the depression. Chemically induced by a whacked out hormonal imbalance. Insulin, one of the 3 major hormones in your body. Without it, you cannot live. You can live without estrogen. You can live without progesterone and testosterone, but you cannot live without insulin being produced in balance. Lack of insulin being produced correctly will kill you dead right quick like.

I suppose if I had the choice I would rather have my pancreas be fucked up than my thyroid. Luckily for me my thyroid is just fine. My pancreas however is not happy with me.

So it's time to get to work on fixing this issue before it gets so out of hand that it does kill me.

After all, I really do choose life.