Never knowing who to cling to, when the rain set in

I am thinking about how to describe today. Long is good. Difficult would work. But mostly it was painful physically. Which basically made it even longer and more difficult. By 5 this evening I was in so much pain I was almost in tears. But that didn't mean my day was over. Oh no, there was so much more in store for me. Just because it's 5 does not mean my customers are done with my ass. No, they had me out until 8:45 when I dragged my sorry old ass in the door and shoved a couple of hotdogs down my throat while I crashed and burned.

Bill kind of freaked me tonight. I was almost in tears over the pain in my back. I said, "I am in serious trouble now, I have no one to crack my back around and I am in a world of hurt."  He said, "I don't think that will fix it, that's not why your back hurts". That was reassuring. Bill's always doing this kinetic shit with his fingers to see if he or I should injest something.  Ever since I told him about my test coming up next week, he has been acting a little worried. I think he is doing that kinetic shit behind my back to see if I have breast cancer.

Today was a very bad day physically for me. I had no energy. It's not like I was tired, it was like I had no strength. None. I was dizzy for most of the day. That was some kind of fucked up for me too. I was sitting at the table today trying to key this lock and I don't exactly know what happened but all of a sudden I totally lost it. I was holding the cylinder to this lock and I had just put all the pins in it and was about to put it back together. The next thing I knew, it was on the floor, scattered in every direction and I was just sitting there trying to figure out how I dropped it.  The truth is, I sort of passed out for a split second. Now that was scary.  I mean, I have had tons of dizzy spells in the last couple of years. Times when I was just standing there and suddenly I almost fall over, or sitting there and almost slump over. I've always caught myself though. Until today. I just sort of blacked out for a second.

So I am going to bed in a few to read a little Carlos Castaneda (thank you very much Ky and Audey). I felt so shitty last night that I barely made it past the introduction. I would like to get a chapter or two in, but it's hard to focus for too long on reading. But I will try anyway cause damn it! that's my birthday present and I'll be damned if I am not going to read it!

Ok, I am outta here. It's all about spoons. Night all <smoochers>